From the producers of Under Siege, Under Siege II, and the ultimate in Steven Seagal action documentaries, Close, but no Seagal, comes the even-more ultimate Steven Seagal action documentary:
The Ponytail Dies With Me
Narrated by Steven, himself, Ponytail picks up the excitement where Close, but no Seagal leaves off... which is the epic mid-life of this larger-than-life mega star as he continues to enthuse over and demonstrate every reason why he is the greatest and most influential martial-artist/actor since John Saxon. Experience the intensity as Seagal pulverizes his way thru his past interviews and informative commentary like a squinty-eyed wrecking ball. This model of pudgy perfection is pulling out all the stops when he cleverly cuts down would-be legends like Bruce Lee and Sonny Chiba with the razor-sharp sting of phrases like "I don't think he was that good" and, of course, the legendary "Can I g-- another m--rophone? I th--- -ine is c--ting out. I'll try n-- to sweat so m--- on the ne-- one". He will keep you on the edge of your seat as he delivers each line of dialogue with mind-blowing ambiguity and retains, even in the face of criticism and adversity, that signature, expressionless, stuck-pipe, whispery voice of his. Is he preparing us for yet another explosive adranaline rush? Or is he struggling to dislodge 6 ounces of marinated, pork tenderloin from his lower esophagus? The answer will blow you away and you'll just have to watch it to find out.
The Ponytail Dies With Me. Look for it on dvd from LionsGate Entertainment.
1 comment:
love the ponytail thing....you're hilarious. Gotta love someone that is so obliviously superfluous.
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