My fake, former, fiery friends

I've never held a darn thing against dragons. Heck, I find the mythology behind them to be fascinating. My good friend Smoke-stool is a dragon. The only friction we ever had between us was when we got lunch one time at Panera. I ordered a turkey artichoke panini and shortly after we sat down he ate my foot. I thought it was incredibly rude, and I was so peeved that I simply stood up, hobbled confidently over to the door, leaving as small a blood trail as I could, and left. I know that every customer in the restaurant supported my bold action because I heard comments like "Eeeww, gross!" and "My god, wrap a towel around that disgusting stump!". I thought it was a little cruel to call my friend such terrible names, but he knew what he did was wrong. I also heard a unanimous round of applause as I exited. And it was applause. I'm sure of it. It most certainly wasn't the sound of dozens of customers screaming and vomiting.

Anyway, I digress; it just occurred to me that the only two films I've ever actually stood up and walked out of the theater as a result of seeing, were both about dragons. The first one was Reign of Fire. I personally thought this was one seriously loaded diaper of a movie, and I'm just a little angry with myself for not walking out sooner. It might have entertained me if I didn't find it so uncomfortable to watch. The embarrassment was close to what I would have imagined feeling if I had invited all my extended family over to crowd into my bathroom and watch me take a shower. Reign of Fire is full of filthy looking people who are charred like neglected campfire marshmallows by boatloads and boatloads of dragons (from what I remember), and an oily Matthew MaCconehaggeagigigiggerrhhyy-hay. He was certainly an impressive hunk of man in the film, and I do like Christian Bale a lot. I just think they could have... well there was... I just didn't... *sigh* I thought it sucked.

The other film... Well, I already have a blog on that posted elsewhere. I don't need to regurgitate my thoughts on that, I guess. I'll just repost it here, immediately after this one. So stay tuned! And Smoke-stool, I'm sorry I stormed out. It really was nice to see you. Let's go out for some Chinese or gross villagers sometime.